


The Stow-away  (Or In Just 7 days I will Make You a Man)

by rachelautumn



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Pretend Sex Work, Rimming, Sexuality Crisis, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-04 06:44:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelautumn/pseuds/rachelautumn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwaine plays match maker.  Because he's a very altruistic person.  OK, so maybe sometimes he also samples the goods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To celebrate the upcoming Gwainefest! this plot has been plucked straight (or not so straight) from the brain of Gwaine! He is entirely responsible for its contents.

Chapter One: The proposal

 

"Listen, Merlin." Gwaine looked down at him with those deep set hazel eyes of his, pretending to be serious. Merlin ignored him. Gwaine was scary on those occasions when he really was serious, but now was not one of those times. Gwaine placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder so that he would look at him again. "Merlin," he repeated, "This is important. You have to help me. I'm looking for a slut."

Merlin popped off of Gwaine's cock and wiped his hand over his mouth.

"I'm right here, thank you very much." He glared even though he knew Gwaine was immune to it.

"Yes you are and you've very good at what you're doing, so don't feel like you have to stop." Gwaine reached to push Merlin's head back down, but Merlin just danced away. 

"I'm putting the kettle on," he said. "I am not going to suck you off while you whinge about missing somebody else to do it."

"Oh yeah, point." Gwaine grinned and pulled his trousers back up and pattered after Merlin into the kitchen. Merlin wished he could kick him out in a strop, but the flat was Gwaine's.

"Listen there's nothing wrong with you," Gwaine put his arms around Merlin where he was stood at the hob, "You know I'm always hot for you; best thing I ever did was turn you to the fuck buddy dark side."

Merlin scowled harder to hide the fact that he was already mollified.

"But I'm not a slag."

"A slut," Gwane corrected "and you could be if you wanted to."

Merlin sighed. Gwaine was always telling him that he was very attractive and could have lots of people if he wanted, but, Merlin was shy. It was only Gwaine's particular brand of obnoxious persistence that had saved him from 20 years of virginity as it was, and it still had not been enough to get Merlin to try out the seduction thing on his own.

"Thing is," Gwaine peppered his neck with the wet sloppy kisses that Merlin hated because they got him sopping, but that always turned him on anyway, as the git well knew, "You're the wrong type for this mission." He stepped back, appraising Merlin with that look of seeing everything and wanting him anyway, which was the real reason for his appeal, Merlin suspected, as much as his cut torso and swinging hair. "You're either a puppy dog or a wicked vampire type and girls enjoy those types one on one."

"I don't like girls." Merlin took out two mugs and a tea pot and tossed a couple bags in.

"Well, yeah, I was going to mention." Gwaine sat down and waited for his tea. Gwaine made a point of roughing it and avoided designer clothes, but his upbringing showed in little ways like this. Or possibly he knew when other people enjoyed spoiling him. Merlin just liked doing for people; he couldn't help it.

"You're going to tell me about this whether I want to hear it or not , aren't you." Merlin joined Gwaine at the table, balancing milk and sugar servers even though neither of them took both. He tried not to wince as Gwained dumped four cubes in his cup.

"I told you; it's important." He leaned forward. "It's a matter of statistics. Most recent surveys say that only 1% of people are really bisexual. There are what, 10,000people at this University if you count all the colleges? That means only 100 people could be who I'm looking for."

"Fifty." Merlin corrected. "You're looking for a man, right?"

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that. see why I had to talk to you about this?" 

"Not really," Merlin muttered into his tea, trying to hide his interest.

"Right." Gwaine's eyes crinkled up. He had not missed the shift in Merlin's attention. "So figure out of that fifty there are lots of people who are ugly or unwilling or serial monogamists or just plain asshats; I'd be an idiot not to work with the person I've already found, right?"

"Um, right?" Merlin was familiar with Gwaine's concept of "working with a person". It left a lot of room for interpretation. On the one hand, that was why Merlin was here, right now having tea with the man, but on the other hand. Well here he was having a friendly tea and a few minutes ago he'd been sucking Gwaine's cock. Before Gwaine he had understood why these two things shouldn't have intersected, but his brain had gotten addled while Gwaine was "working with him" and his values had been a little skewiff ever since. "So who is it?"

"Arthur Pendragon." Gwaine looked at him expectantly. 

"So?"

"He's in your college."

"So?"

"In your year."

'Uhuh"

"He rows crew. He does biochemistry, so probably in many of your geeky lectures." As Merlin continued to look mystified, Gwaine sprang to his feet.

"About this tall," he gestured a couple of inches over his head, "Cut jaw, blond hair, bright blue eyes and a chest you just want to lay your head down and die on."

"Oh him!" Merlin nodded. "Why didn't you just say so?"

"Right." Gwaine rumpled Merlin's hair, "You funny man, you. Anyway, I have this idea for a porno reality show. It's time has come!"

Merlin stared. He felt his eyes grow rounder and rounder as he attempted to rein his his laugh. Finally it burst out.

"It's a good idea. All the really innovative ideas seem laughable at first." Gwaine huffed. "Anyway, I got the idea from you."

"From me?" Merlin was fairly certain he was offended. "Maybe you'd better be sucking my cock then."

"Oh I'll get around to it." Gwaine waved his hand. "So can I tell you the rest?"

The upshot of it was that Gwaine wanted to find shy, beautiful people -like Merlin, apparently- who would be wooed into a sexual awakening over the course of a 3 episode arc that would culminate in a night spent with both Gwaine and Arthur, making the girl happy and Arthur and Gwaine rich.

Merlin had failed to understand many aspects of the plan, including why it had to be a girl. (Girls sell, Merlin, boys are a niche market,) why a shy person would agree to appear on camera, naked. (We're all ho's for media, Merlin) and why Arthur and Gwaine wanted to make more money when they were both wealthy already. (Ok maybe I just want the attention, fine.)

"The real thing I don't understand though, he said, once they were both in his much smaller flat, eating toast in bed because it was warmer that way, "is why Arthur's character has to be bisexual. I mean, it's girl on guy, hetero sex isn't it?"

"Theoretically, yes," Gwaine licked some jam off of Merlin's nipple, making him giggle and arch. "Thing is I imagine once I see that arse of Arthur's, grinding away, so close like, I'm going to be miserable if I can't have him myself, afterwards, theoretically."

The penny dropped.

"This has happened already, hasn't it." Merlin said. Gwaine looked up, chagrined, which was truly startling on him. Merlin allowed himself to enjoy the rare sensation of shaming Gwaine for as long as could before going on.

"You don't have any special reason why you want to get into Arthur's pants, do you Gwaine. You just have some scheme for turning him sort of gay and for some reason it's going to involve me and this whole, ridiculous reality show concept was just a way of getting me to listen to you for this long."

"But it's still a really good idea! And it's kind of what's been happening anyway, actually!"

"Do tell?"

Merlin knew that he should be offended or maybe even jealous, but those were both emotions that melted before Gwaine's personality like plastic under ray guns. He found himself carding his fingers through he friend's longish, chestnut hair, thinking, I'll do it. Someone has to protect you from yourself.

"Well, Arthur's a slut, like I've been telling you. So it was only a matter of time before we crossed paths." Gwaine said this matter- of-factly, as if it were nothing to be ashamed of. "At first, he was a little sullen and competitive, let me tell you, because I'm gorgeous and I have abs of steel and everything."

"You had a bar fight." Merlin had met Gwaine during a bar fight. It was the most common way to get close to him probably.

"Just a tussle, really;, he was with a girl who I'd slept with the day before. Anyway, after the fight, we forgot about her.

Merlin snorted. There was a surprise.

"And we had a drink or two and talked things over and we decided to just do double dates."

"Isn't that very 1950's of you?" Merlin hadn't been aware that Gwaine did dates to be honest. 

"It was so erotic! Necking in the car, heavy petting all four on either side of the couch! Inch by inch we get closer and closer. I know he's only doing this because he wants me, Merlin, but he's such a homophobe numpty he won't admit it.! And then last week we had sex with the girls right next to each other."

"And you had the insight about his arse grinding away and realized you had to have him!"

"Exactly!" Gwaine gave him a sticky smack on the cheek. Merlin sighed. 

"Fine. What do you want me to do about it?"


	2. The Flat

The key to the whole scheme was that Merlin would move into a flat in the building where Arthur lived. Gwaine explained that the flat was somewhat dodgy, but that by a special coincidence it was available for almost nothing, so that Merlin could save tonnes of money while doing Gwaine a favor. It was win/win!

The flat looked like any other, if by any other you meant some place with no bath, no kitchen and a ceiling that leaked both water and mysterious flakes of white stuff. Originally, there had been no toilet either, but Gwaine had rectified that himself when he brought in a plumber. It was the no door that was kind of a deal breaker, though.

The first time he realized this, Merlin was half way up the fire escape, having already found out about no internal staircase earlier.

'Oi, Gwaine. There's no way in. Are you sure this is a legitimate flat?"

Gwaine used a crow bar to pry open a window whose existence he had somehow fathomed beneath many layers of paint.

"Of course it's not a legitimate flat. I told you it was free didn't I?"

Gwaine threw himself through the open window. Merlin tried not to laugh at the resounding crash. He soon popped up again

"Tada!" Merlin was tugged into the space that was to be his home until Gwaine had bagged his man or until Merlin broke his neck, whichever came first.

It was empty, and huge and sort of atticky. And it was missing things that he was used to like...rooms, but there was more light than one might have thought.

"You know this might have been sort of nice once." he said, imagining curtains and then cursing himself because, fuck, why was he so easy to please?

Gwaine came up behind him and ruffled his hair. "It was an artist's studio, actually, before they stopped having private studios for students. That's why there's a skylight."

He pointed to the ceiling. "The university found it easier to seal the thing up than to fix the floor. I researched it you know" Merlin looked down at his feet. The floor boards he was standing up looked right enough, but the ones in the corner had a dried up and cracked look to them. He made a note to himself to only walk in the middle of the floor.

"You're not making me feel better about this, Gwaine."

"Oh darling, you've forgotten the best part." Gwaine's grin was getting awfully close to his scary grin, the one that immediately preceded the bar fights. "It's the view."

He redirected Merlin's head with his two hands until Merlin's eyes lit on the other skylight, the one on the floor, obviously placed beneath the first so that some of the light from the sealed off flat could filter into the rooms still in use below.

Merlin took hesitant steps over to the edge of the thing. It was dirty and someone had made a half-hearted attempt to scratch over the glass, but it was still possible to see down into the flat underneath...

Where a blond man was sitting on a sofa, watching telly. with his shirt off. Even seen naked for the first time at an odd angle, Merlin could recognize that chest. It was Arthur. Merlin had always gotten the impression that Arthur was one of these good looking people who were more trouble than they were worth, but sitting in silence, innocently scratching one defined pec, well merlin didn't mind seeing him at all.

Merlin cocked his head up at Gwaine. "I suppose we all make sacrifices for our friends," he said. "And my mum could use a little extra cash"

"That's the spirit!" Gwaine grabbed Merlin's hand and wrapped him around in a sort of waltz, finishing with a resounding kiss.

Merlin pushed him away. Oddly, he felt closer to Gwaine than ever before, helping him like this and yet it no longer felt right to mess around with him, somehow. Merlin was doing this so that Gwaine could sleep with someone else. True, It had never bothered him before. Since Merlin rarely went out, he didn't usually meet Gwaine's other conquests. Gwaine never refrained from mentioning them, which was better by far than hiding it, but hearing about something and seeing it right below your feet were very different things. 

If Gwaine minded, he never mentioned it.


	3. Introductions

Gwen was one of the few women in the chemical engineering program and one of the even fewer people who Merlin talked to about things other than work and Dr. Who. He'd hoped at first to keep his move hidden from her. As nice as she was - and she was one of the kindest people Merlin had ever met- he doubted she would smile when he told her about the tragic insanity that was Merlin's part in Gwaine's plan. She had found out anyway, simply by following Merlin home one day when they couldn't stop chatting about something or the other. He'd grimaced as he waited for her judgement.

He hadn't counted on the effect of real estate on a woman's mind.

"Merlin this is gorgeous,!" she squeaked after the thump of her rucksack hit the floor. Merlin had rigged a sort of stair case under the window so she herself had a more dignified landing. "Look at all the space and light! Oh my God, we're going to throw the best parties!"

Merlin coughed nervously. "Gwen I've invited you for a picnic. Inside my flat. Because I don't have a kitchen or any furniture or heat and I am effectively living outside. Hence picnic." He pointed to the old afghan throw he'd placed on the floor with the hamper on it. 

"Is this Fortnum and Mason's?" She squealed. "Oh my God, Merlin. You're a kept man. You're somebody's secret lover. Who is it, the prime minister's son?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "It's just Gwaine. He feels bad for kicking me out of a perfectly good flat with a perfectly good kitchen, so until we fix it here, he's providing for me."

"It was not a perfectly good flat, Merlin. It had bugs and you were so far from college you had to spend all your time commuting and I never saw you."

"I guess you have a point." Being closer to his classes had been one plus. Merlin wasn't sure he was ready to tell her about the other one yet.

"Hmmm. Gwen pretended to be opening packets of kippered salmon and blini but Merlin was not fooled. "Tell me about Gwaine, then," She said with a wink. "I thought he was just a shag."

"We don't do that anymore. The whole point of this was to help Gwaine get with someone else, actually."

Gwen let her eyebrows do the talking for her. Merlin could see the conversation that was coming. There was no excuse that would cover it. He might as well confess it all and hope that being fodder for other people's amusement would make up for the fact that was basically a procurer for a very naughty man and that both of them were probably going to hell. Gwen was not a damned soul-was undoubtedly going to heaven-so forgiveness could be expected of her, anyway.

"So the thing is that Gwaine has gotten involved with someone who he thiinks is bi but isn't ready to admit he likes blokes yet"

"If he hasn't faced it, how are they involved?" Gwen had an adorable little pucker on her innocent brow. Merlin decided to go for the G rated version of events.

"Well, he and this guy have been double dating, for a while and, um, Gwaine thinks the attraction's sort of criss crossed, if you get my drift." he eyed Gwen. she seemed to be taking it well, so far. 

"So anyway, he doesn't want to be the first person to seduce the guy, because he's a real macho, type and he's afraid it would just turn into a fist fight."

"Didn't you meet Gwaine when he was in a bar fight?" Merlin gave her a weak smile.

"Yes? " Anyway, so he wanted me to break the guy in first. You know leave gay literature around, check to see if he likes it, maybe move onto porn and you know generally see if the campaign to get him out of closet is working...." 

Gwen's little pucker was turning into a row of deep furrows. Merlin leapt up and hastened to the spot where Gwaine had hidden all the champagne.

"Will you uncork or shall I?" he asked. Everyone knew that the prospect of Merlin opening champagne was a disaster waiting to happen, of the call the ambulance now variety.

"Oh just give it here." Gwen grabbed the champagne and gave him a smack on the arse as he turned around to grope in the hamper for flutes.

"Hey what was that for? I've half a mind to revoke your hamper privileges!"

"Please. If you had the ability to say no you wouldn't be in this mess to begin with, Merlin. Hand over the champagne and tell me all about it."

"You won't swot me again when you find out?" Merlin arranged a plate of Russian treats on the little picnic set that had come with the hamper. At this rate he thought Gwaine might as well have paid his rent on a real flat, but whatever.

Gwen gave a little sigh that was mostly for show and came round behind Merlin to give him a big hug.

"I know you think you've done something awful, Merlin, and for once I think you're probably right. So consider that your punishment in advance and just tell me, alright?"

Merlin snuggled into Gwen's embrace. All of his shyness disappeared with her for some reason, sort of like it did with Gwaine but for opposite reasons. Where Gwaine was too bad to hold things against him, Gwen was too good. They both gave wonderful hugs.

"OK, Prepare yourself." He sat her down and took a nice gulp of champagne. "So I'm supposed to be dropping enticing bits of gay stuff in front of this guy, right? But it's not just that. I'm also spying on him to see how it's going."

Gwen's jaw dropped. "You mean you moved here just because..."

Merlin nodded. "I may as well tell you who it is." He pulled the corner of the afghan away from the window. "Gwen, meet my ariel view of Arthur Pendragon."

Gwen and Merlin were bookended, foreheads down, bottoms up as they peered down to Arthur's flat. Arthur was there. Arthur was wearing a tee-shirt and boxers and he was on the couch looking at a photograph. From there they couldn't see the image, but Merlin knew what it was. He'd left it there himself, stuck in a pile of essay papers. Gwaine had given him a key for this purpose.

"That's a picture of two guys kissing; one with a boner. I've got to watch now to see if he likes it at all." Merlin was whispering. He didn't think Arthur could hear him; he hadn't reacted to Merlin's voice so far. It just seemed prudent. "Do you think he seems interested?"

Gwen didn't respond, but then she didn't need to. Arthur placed one hand on his lap and squeezed for a long moment. The hand holding the photo trembled. Then Arthur dropped it and ran out of the room.

"I think he likes it." Gwen breathed next to Merlin. Neither of them had moved yet. Merlin sprang up.

"Hey did you see him squeeze his cock? Cos I thought I saw him squeeze..ei!" 

"Shhh. Gwen said, still leaning, arse up over the window, "I think he's coming back." Merlin stopped himself mid-run.

"Hey, I thought you didn't approve of this spy stuff."

"You're right. Your'e right." Gwen dusted herself off and caught Merlin as he tried to reposition himself over the window. "don't bother, he just turned on the computer and he put more clothes on."

"Oh that's disappointing." Merlin had thought there might be wanking there for a minute.

"It really is." Gwen agreed.

"Oh my God, you can't say that. You're supposed to be my good influence. I'm sure to go to hell now!"

"Don't worry, Merlin." Gwen downed her champagne in one gulp. "I'm not going to look again. It's just...he's really hot!" 

She smiled up at Merlin. "why don't you just introduce yourself? Gwaine doesn't own him, you know."

"And what do I say. Geez it's nice to finally meet you in person, from the view on my floor I thought your voice would sound different."

Gwen's cheerful smile collapsed. 'Oh dear, I suppose your're right. And we can't have any party's either, I suppose."

"At least there's pointless voyeurism" Merlin said. "Here's to pointless voyeurism"

"Cheers!" They drank all the champagne whilst the inspiration for it all did god knew what below. One thing, though, for Gwaine, it really did seem that Arthur Pendragon was at least a little gay.


	4. Social Life

An unforeseen consequence of moving so close to Arthur was that Merlin was now close to many other people as well. Before the Scheme, all of Merlin's conversations had begun with one or two innocuous comments about weather, television or the lecture and ended a few minutes later when Merlin announced he had to catch the bus. Now there was no bus. Merlin was constantly sitting down with fellow students now and eating lunch or drinking coffee while he desperately tried to remember the words that cued people to leave. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy other people. It was just that he didn't know the rules for talking to them, so he was always to nervous to think in company.

Right now he was seated in a window seat, just perfect for munching on an illicit plate of dinner smuggled from the dining hall and watching other people stroll by at a safe distance. He was flanked by two girls who were smiling and flirting at him. How could he get rid of them without being rude? Merlin was starting to feel the vein in his forehead pound, when he spotted Gwen.

"Over here!" he called. To his horror it was not just Gwen but also Gwaine who started to push past people toward him, Being larger and more ruthless, Gwaine got there first.

"So who are your friends, Merlin?" he asked, obviously eyeing them over.

"Um..." Merlin had no idea. Perhaps that was one of the things he was supposed to have said?

Before things got awkward Gwen arrived. The girls shifted then, but it didn't help as having Gwen and Gwaine in one room was something that Merlin would have sacrificed blood to any pagan god to avoid.

"So you must be the lovely Gwen!" Gwaine actually raised her hand to his lips. Much to his surprise she looked pleased. Gwen was a flirt. How dare she. Didn't she know she was supposed to be his rock in hard times, a scupted angel, with no faults?

"Are you Gwaine? I'm so glad We're finally meeting. I'm so thrilled that you've been getting Merlin out of his shell this term.

Gwaine gave Merlin a wink. It wasn't all he had been getting Merlin out of. Melrin rolled his eyes. As if Gwen didn't know.

"Look," he was eager to make the best of it. " let's take this somewhere else, shall we?"

They ended up hiring a row boat and it was kind of fun, actually, doing things that other people did with friends. As he feared, Gwen and Gwaine teamed up to tease him, but since he wasn't afraid of either of them, he was able to fight back, flicking water at whoever deserved it most. Af it devolved into a water fight that almost sank the boat, they cooperated returning to shore and he had a rare feeling of belonging to a happy group.

He should have known better.the sun was setting and Merlin was still out, so he should have expected repercussions. Like a vampire, Merlin obeyed certain cues from the bodily heavens, and one was to always be safely ensconced in his flat before people began that clumping together that resulted in going out somewhere.

Sure enough, as they brought the boat to shore they met someone doing the same.

"Morgana!" Gwen called. "So nice to see you." Air kisses followed. Merlin watched with dismay. Was he supposed to do that? He noticed that Gwaine forewent the hand kiss. He shook hands and Merlin followed suit.

Morgana was a very dramatic woman. She was definitely a woman, probably hadn't been a girl since the age of twelve. Her hair was long and dark, her skin pale. She had a strong jaw and lotf of curves.

"So Gwen," she said, her eyes scanning them over like a bunch of grocery items: identity, weight, price. "You were telling me a friend had a good place for a party, nice and empty you said. "Is this him?"

Gwen shot Merlin a portmanteau look of apology and pleading. "Yes?"

Gwaine came to the rescue. "I have a perfectly fine flat for parties and I'm always glad to help out beautiful women. Why don't you two hold it at mine?"

"Oh but I've heard Merlin here lives at king's just like my brother. If it's just upstairs, he'll have to go. Normally I can't get him to a party I throw; he avoids me like the plague, you know. Half the people here don't know we're even related."

"Oh no, you never told me you had a brother. what happened. Did you have a falling out?" Gwen turned eagerly to the witchy new comer as they were friends and not two completely separate orders of female.

"You could say." Morgana flashed a grim smile. "Let's just say he wants to project a certain image and I know better and that makes him uncomfortable these days."

Merlin felt an icy shard poking his gut. It was Gwaine's finger, he realized after a moment.

Gwen was caught up in sympathy for her friend. Tough and tidy in the world of science, Gwen went soft focus when she listened to other people's problems. She'd obviously missed the reference. Merlin glanced over at Gwaine and saw him reach the same conclusion.

"Shit. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" 

"That we must not under any circumstances have this party at your flat?"

Yes, but also..." Merlin never finished his thought.

There was a group of rowers heading up from the river, some of them half naked, all of them wet and sweaty. Normally, Merlin would be glad to watch them approach, but this was not one of those times. It was easy to recognize Arthur among the rest, his arrogant swagger and sharp jaw easily distinguishable even among athletes.

"Oh look there he is now." Morgana smiled, showing a lot of teeth. Merlin felt some sympathy for Arthur as he imagined being on the receiving end of that look, before panic over came him.

"Gwen" he warned. He needn't have worried. Her friendly face had morphed with horror as she took in Morgana's greeting, Arthur's impending arrival and the obvious connection between Gwaine's scheme, Arthur's sexuality, Morgana's nosiness and Merlin's flat

In about 5 seconds Arthur was going to come face to face with the man who was living upstairs from him even though his was the top floor. He was sure to make a connection between a mysterious extra neighbor and all the things placed around the flat. Once he twigged that he was the one pushing all the gay into his rooms, he would resent Merlin for the invasion of his privacy or worse yet, his resentment might rebound on man on man sex in general. That would spoil the whole purpose of the scheme. And that was even before he came to the party and confronted the spy hole. Merlin didn't plan on being there for that.

"Oh no!" Gwen cried. Merlin thanked his lucky stars she didn't suffer from his disability with social cues. "Um, I just realized Merlin and I are late for a chemistry revise-a-thon we're putting on. I'd love to meet your brother some other time, though!"

They ran off, abandoning Gwaine to his fate. When they were, with any luck, too far away for Arthur to recognize them, Morgana's voice called out. 

"In two weeks then! I'll text you the details!"


	5. The Better Plan

Gwaine met Merlin at a pub so stodgy it had probably never seen a student.

"It's obvious what we have to do!" They both said at once, by way of greeting, after a quick check to make sure no one from uni was there after all. Merlin felt the laugh that followed relax his tense neck a little.

'You go first, but if it involves a scheme for a threesome with Morgana, I'm not getting involved."

Gwaine pretended to look disappointed. "No, no more schemes." 

"Then you agree!" Merlin was relieved. He had never known Gwaine to back down in the face of shame, or embarrassment, the two demons that plagued his own world and had small hopes that he would abandon their plan now.

"Oh no!" Gwaine flung his arm over Merlin's shoulder and squeezed till it almost hurt. "This looks like it's a set back, but it's actually brilliant. It's lending structure to our plans which were, I admit, a little vague.

"Oh," Merlin looked sadly into his pint mug, wishing that he could drink more without getting sloppy. He wasn't cut out for such as this. Gwaine meanwhile had begun to radiate enthusiasm in that way of his that attracted the horny and the angry. Merlin could feel a couple of the denizens of the place giving them hard looks. "Go on," he said quickly, "Take me out of my misery."

"The way I see it," Gwaine chirped, already on his 2nd beer and happy with it, "Is we now have a deadline of two weeks from now when you are going to throw that party. All the problems will just go away if Arthur and I are already banging by then."

"So the fact that I've been spying on him...."

"Not a problem. He'll laugh it off."

Merlin looked at Gwaine doubtfully. "From what Morgana said, he doesn't sound like the type to let something like that go."

"Alright, so we hide the floor window." Merlin shook his head so hard, the room whirled. 

"No way, it's unsafe enough on that floor as it is. We can't have hundreds of people trooping unawares over glass.'

Gwaine rubbed his jaw, "Point taken. I think I'll just have to resign myself to getting my arse handed me. Just so long as I've had his first, I don't think I'll mind." His face brightened a bit. "Could be a good fight, actually. I'm really not sure which of us will win."

"Just as long as he doesn't start beating on me. I am the one whose been spying on him, you know."

Gwaine considered this for a long moment. He placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder to get his attention, just as he had the day that started this whole mess, but this time when Merlin met his eyes, he saw that they were very serious.

"I promise you, you're not going to get hurt, Merlin. It's all on me, Ok?"

"Um, alright." Merlin was a little taken aback by Gwaine's gentle vehemence, but he did not doubt his friend's word and it warmed him to think of being cared for like this in the midst of the scheme, all logical evidence to the contrary.

"So the way I see it," Gwaine went on, leaping ahead at the slightest hint of a green light, which was just about a dictionary definition of Gwaine Greene, "Is we need to up our game. How's the porno placement going?"

Merlin blushed, thinking of seeing Arthur wanking to one of his better pictures. Normally he dashed to the bedroom, so it was only the one time. He'd checked out the browser history on Arthur's computer, too and found a gratifying trail of searches for gay porn and sites that promised to "help you come out to friends and family." Less gratifyingly, there were at least as many searches for, "signs you may be paranoid" and "What to do if you think someone's watching you."

"I think he's definitely into men, so that's clear, he said, clearing his throat. "But he's also getting suspicious of all the moved things, and obviously he knows someone's placing photos and things in his flat."

Gwaine waved the problem away. "He just thinks it's Morgana. She as good as told me she twigged he was bi and has been bothering him about it."

"So why don't you just let her be the fall guy and tell him you like him afterwards?" It was the obvious answer. Why was it making Merlin feel so sad to suggest it? Did he really enjoy watching a man he didn't know, finding out about his favorite football team, the thesis to his last essay, what his friends' pictures looked like, the kind of sex that aroused him? Merlin felt something that had been falling through him for a long time finally lodge at the bottom of his stomach. Oh God, he was falling in love with Arthur. And he didn't even know the man! And here he was setting him up to be seduced by someone who was not only not Merlin, but a ruthless slag.

Arthur's a slag, too, he reminded himself. But it was hard to remember because Arthur rarely took girls to his flat. He went out a lot, though and he often didn't come home. Perhaps he and Gwaine could be good for each other. The thought did not make him feel any better.

"What were you saying?" Merlin realized that in his funk he'd stopped listening to Gwaine.

"I said that Morgana is the wrong person to help Arthur. She rides him too hard and she reminds him of the problem with Pendragon Sr. If you leave her in charge, he'll just double down the denial"

"So what's the problem at home. His dad's not up for a bisexual son? I thought those bigoted people lied about it these days."

"Arthur has this whole image thing going for his dad. He's as good as engaged to somebody his dad wants him to marry when uni's out. Look, take my word for it. Arthur's the kind of person who could go his whole life and never push for what he really wants, never let himself admit it. That's the real reason he sleeps around, you know. He doesn't do it for fun like me."

"Are you worried about him?" Merlin gave his friend a careful look over, but Gwaine had already wiped his face clean of any legitimate expression.

"Nah, one night with me should set him right, but first I think he needs a night with you."

"What?" Merlin felt dizzy, but it was not the beer.

"Absolutely, desperate times call for desperate measures, Merlin. We only have two weeks and I don't think he'll shag someone he knows, the first time. It's got to be you"

"But I'm in one of his lectures. He's seen me around."

"Believe me, when I'm done with you he won't recognize Merlin Emrys at all."


	6. Walking in the Door

The disguise looked absolutely ludicrous: a zorro mask, gold contact lenses and leather. Merlin put the thing on with his eyes closed. Where on earth had Gwaine found this get up?

"Arthur's not going to want to fuck me; he's going to laugh and throw me out!" Gwaine tightened the back string on the trousers, giving his newly defined arse an affectionate pat.

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. You're a free gift. Of course, he'll take advantage. everybody loves a freebie"

Merlin forced himself to look in the mirror. He looked like an extra from thriller, long legs, fitted leather and monster eyes. At least the cat burglar life style, hauling things through windows, had done something for his shoulders. They definitely looked broader now.

"You're totally fuckable," Gwaine whispered over his shoulder, giving him a kiss on the neck. "If he doesn't go for it, I'll revoke the plan immediately. How's that for a vote of confidence."

"You've got a deal." Merlin almost felt better, close enough to approximate his natural smile, and pretend his insides weren't melting. "At least, this way I get to walk through the door of the building for once

And five minutes later, there he was, knocking at the first door to the left of the building where he was currently living as a stow away, if land bound adventurers could be said to stow away. Gwaine had said yes, but he didn't follow rules.

"Can I help you?" Arthur seemed much larger when seen from the ordinary angle, face to face. Merlin had never met his blue eyes before. They were not friendly at the moment. In fact their expression was swiftly changing from irritation, to confusion, to suspicion. "Are you sure you're in the right place?" he asked. He had a good voice, low pitched and posh, but not overly warm.

Merlin decided to barge in as if he were someone else entirely, which he sort of was, someone who wasn't afraid or ashamed and who felt comfortable in leather. He threw himself on the couch, feeling an odd sort of rightness about it; he'd spent so much time looking at the damn thing.

"I'm a gift." he said, not moving, not speaking very loud. Let Arthur come to him. Merlin flicked a card out of the zipper pocket over his left nipple. To his amazement, Arthur approached and accepted the card. His eyes roamed over Merlin as he took it, lingering on his eyes, his chest, his groin.

"Em. Personal Services. Look, Em, I don't require any personal services, especially if that means what I think it does."

"You mean you don't enjoy fucking men"?" Merlin didn't know where his sultry, teasing voice had come from. It helped that he already knew what Arthur liked, what kind of girls, what kind of boys. There was more than one leather video on that computer.

Arthur licked his lips and looked down. Merlin was sorry to see the confidence leave him; Arthur was a little ashamed of his desires it seemed. He found himself taking advantage, standing up, placing a hand on Arthur's hip.

"Maybe you're just afraid to try?" Those blue eyes were more open now, fixed on his, wavering, hoping, deciding. "A friend sent me," Merlin whispered and kissed him.

Soft tentative lips met his. Merlin felt himself sigh. Arthur's mouth was so warm and gentle. They kissed like that for a minute, like long time lovers with nothing to prove. Then abruptly Arthur pushed him off and started pacing, one hand in his hair.

"Fuck, I don't know. There's no coming back from this is there." He looked up at Merlin and Merlin saw the unguarded face he knew so well from his spying. "You're not from here, right?"

Merlin crept back up to Arthur, creaking just a bit in all his leather. He was so focused on reaching Arthur before that look faded, he didn't even feel stupid about that.

"No one needs to know," he whispered, "It's just us."

This time Arthur fell on him with ravenous kisses to his mouth, jaw and neck. He pressed hard, as if afraid he'd back away if he didn't push forward. He licked at Merlin's clavicle, grinding his erection into Merlin's thigh like he owned it. Apparently Arthur was one of those people who could pat their head and rub their tummy at the same time. 

Merlin stopped trying to orchestrate what happened, swallowed up in Arthur's assault. He shouldn't have been surprised. The guy was a slut, after all. Merlin had been so concerned with Arthur's virginity that he had forgotten it only applied to men. The hands that cupped his arse now were confident; even faced with the thousand strings and buckles of Merlin's ridiculous outfit, they didn't hesitate.

"Want to see you," Arthur grunted. "I want to see if it's just as good in person as it looks in all those videos." When he'd gotten Merlin sprung free from his trousers, he gulped. "Christ. I'm really going to do this." He sank to his knees and, for a moment Merlin thought Arthur was going to suck him off right there, in which case he was going to come in seconds and the whole was going to be over, but Arthur just nuzzled the head of his cock.

It was so odd seeing his own dickhanging down like that with a man's mouth right there. He watched himself harden and lift as if he were someone else, someone sexier than him. Merlin jumped with surprise as Arthur ran his open mouth and tongue sloppy over the length of it. He stopped just as it started to feel good, and Merlin groaned.

Arthur grappled deeper into Merlin's hips, looking up at him. "Can I really do whatever I want?"

"Yes." Merlin worried that his voice sounded breathless, not at all professional. "I'm all paid up for the night, whatever you want to do."

Arthur stood up. "I don't want to suck your cock then, because I won't be any good at it yet. I'm just going to get a good taste of you all over and then you can fuck me, OK?"

Yeah, OK. Sounds good." This time Merlin knew he sounded completely beside himself, basically like a guy who had never even owned leather trousers before now and had only one prior sexual partner. He was glad Arthur was too busy pulling off his jeans and socks and snatching his jumper over his head to pay proper attention.

Soon he was naked, his hair all staticky and his chest finally there for Merlin to gaze at all he wanted. He found his eyes darting between the pretty pink nipples. Looking from above, he'd never been able to see before that one was ever so slightly higher than the other, just inviting his tongue to measure the difference. And he'd had the most miserably foreshortened view the one time he'd seen Arthur take his cock out. This way was oh so much better, It was starting to fill now, already long and thick with a promise for more. Even better it wasn't swelling for some image he'd left about. Arthur was getting hard for Merlin.

Arthur caught him staring and quirked his eyebrows, apparently unembarrassed, and really why should he be? He was breathtaking.

"Oh no I'm not going to be the only one naked here." He Immediately crowded Merlin, so that all in a rush the seeing he had been doing so long overlapped with the touch and the scent he'd just imagined before. Arthur's chest was warm and slightly scratchy, his cock a hot press on Merlin's and he smelt deliciously of sweat and honeysuckle shampoo. 

Arthur remained surprisingly confident, now the initial crisis was past.

"This comes off," he panted, undoing the stays of Merlin's lace-up trew as if he could undo slinky ties in his sleep, which actually he probably could, according to Gwaine As soon as the things were on the floor, he reached for the mask. Merlin jumped away.

"Unuh, I have another job, a day job. This has to remain anonymous." Arthur stopped his assault to pout.

"Can I at least see what color your eyes really are? Not that the freaky gold thing isn't nice."

Merlin shook his head. "I thought you wanted to lick me somewhere."

"Oh yeah!" The little boy's excitement Arthur showed then just about broke Merlin's heart. Fuck he was going to hell.

Or maybe just Arthur's bedroom. Arthur held his hand to drag him there, reminding Merlin strangely of birthdays when he was small and his mother wanted him to close his eyes, while she led him to the surprise she'd hidden.

Merlin had never seen Arthur's bedroom before. It was dominated by the bed, very large by uni standards, covered in a dark red duvet. 

While Merlin was looking, Arthur changed the direction of his pull, throwing him on the bed. He followed shortly after, eyes staring into Merlin's, one hand roaming every contour of Merlin's body. He took his time, to the point that Merlin started to feel cold, but he never wanted it to stop. Arthur gazed at him reverently the whole time. The hand traced his shoulders and his ribs, lingered over his sharp hip bones and tapered to one finger to graze his thighs. Merlin had never felt beautiful before. He felt that way now.

"God you're lovely. Fuck, I'm never going to be able to forget this." Arthur traced a finger down Merlin's chest now, circling the nipples and making the muscles jump in his belly. Then he leaned forward and repeated it all with his tongue.

Merlin could feel himself start to leak. It was a tease, such a tease. He wrapped himself around Arthur, trying to get that mouth back on his, trying to get warm flesh to grind against his own cock. Arthur's breath turned harsh.

"Such a hurry. You really want to fuck me already?'

"Yeah, I mean if you're up for it. It's your first time, right? Maybe you should just try it on me." Arthur shook his head.

"I want to do something new. I want to do this." He waved a hand between him and Merlin and took a deep breath. "I really don't care if it hurts. I've wanted to have a man do that to me half my life and I'm going to do it now, before I chicken out." He pressed himself up over Merlin, looking down with a smirk as he ran his hips aground on Merlin's. "I can always fuck you later, yeah?"

Then he reached his arm over, practically choking Merlin in the damp musk of his armpit, as he dug some lube out of the night table. Merlin loved it, loved everything about how men smelled, but he couldn't believe Arthur's assumption that he wouldn't mind. Even here, even thrown off base, the man was so...sure to the point of being kind of a dick, actually.

"Here you go." Arthur lay himself down on his back with his knees open and waited, looking up at Merlin with all the trust in the world. Obviously, the man thought he was a consummate professional. Well he could work with that. Merlin found he didn't mind too much. He liked having Arthur's trust, even if he didn't deserve it. And he had plenty of ideas of what he wanted to do.

"Here. How's this? 

Merlin took his time teasing Arthur's nipples to little points. 

"It's good." Arthur was started to pant. Merlin figured that was going well, so he he added one hand grasped possessively over his cock as well, milking up the head with lube.

When Arthur started little whimpers of discomfort, he sat back on his heels and spread Arthur's knees further apart. He was all on display for Merlin: his cock on his belly, his ball sack recklessly lolling, the dark taint between his arse cheeks just visible.

Arthur craned his neck to see what was going on.

"I must look a complete tit like this."

"No," Merlin shook his head. "You're beautiful. Here, hook your hands behind your knees so I can see where I'm going to get inside you."

The words got him a sucked in, anticipatory breath. Merlin smiled to himself. He was probably the first person to hear that sound since Arthur lost his other virginity. Arthur obeyed and Merlin quickly shoved a pillow under his bum. The quick flash he got made him sorry for a moment that he'd decided to start Arthur on his back. He wanted to see his face, though, for that first breech, and as he searched out Arthur's pleasure. In his own limited experience, this part was the most intimate part of this kind of sex, more than what came after, though that, yeah...

Merlin grabbed his own cock quickly, squeezed a couple of drops out. Then he dropped his face into Arthur's lap, dipping into troughs there, each with it's own smell and contour. Liking one spot, he was all the more eager to move on to the next, afraid to miss something when there was no end to how good it was. He had always been greedy like this at the beech, hunting for tide pools. It had driven his friends crazy. It was driving Arthur crazy.

He thrust his hips up, trying to get satisfaction from Merlin's moving mouth.

"Isn't someone paying you to give me what I want?" he growled. Merlin tut-tutted.

"I bet you were a spoilt child." but he relented, sucking Arthur's big cock down as well as he could and putting some time into giving Arthur pleasure there, though he never let him come.

The prolonged foreplay wasn't what a real whore would have done. It was as much for his own pleasure as Arthur's, especially as he kept returning to his lips, taking that acknowledgement before he returned to darker, more pungent places. He had no right to that acknowledgement. No wonder it was called stealing a kiss.

It was all theft, though, wasn't it? This whole fantasy made real was almost a joke on the man he was making love to. It wasn't meant that way, Merlin reminded himself. If anything the joke was on him. The only way he'd ever gotten to be here with Arthur was the same thing that meant they could never do it again.

Bollocking bollocks. He wasn't going to think about that right now. 

He'd reached the point where the only thing left was to stare in Arthur's eyes as dragged a  
finger around his hole. Arthur didn't look away, but he grew steadily pinker. Fuck Merlin liked having that effect on him.

"Hand me the lube" he said, hand out like he really fucked strangers up the arse for a living and not just for pretend. Arthur tossed it to him and quickly turned back over again.

"Strawberry? Really?" 

Arthur shrugged. "I end up eating a lot of it." Merlin didn't like thinking of the logistics of that. It must have shown on his face. Arthur laughed and groped blindly behind him under his pillow, pulling out a larger, plainer tube. "Is this better?" he asked. "That's what I use on myself."

"And now I'll use it on you. I don't want to taste anything but you, OK? Arthur's eyes widened.

"Yeah, OK. Better than OK." 

His words turned into a morse code of breaths and groans as Merlin started licking around his finger, crooking it slightly , waiting for the reaction.

"You can do more, I can absolutely take it." He could Merlin saw. He'd started to dig in his heels and his cock spurted little drops. Merlin licked them all up, pumping his fingers at the same time. This was the sweet spot right here. He was getting to know what Arthur liked and giving it to him. He wanted to just stay here until Arthur came. That would be wonderful, if they had all the time in the world, far better for the first thing than penetrative sex. But Arthur had asked to get fucked, so Merlin would fuck him. On his hands and knees. That would be for the best.

Merlin paused when it came time to turn Arthur over. He remembered that Arthur was more powerfully built than he was. It was a stray thought that opened the door for all the other bad ones: who was he to teach this athlete, this lady's man how to use his body? Surely the job would have been better taken by Gwaine...

"Em?" Arthur's voice sounded concerned.

Shit. Arthur was going to pick up on his nerves. Merlin needed to be in charge so that Arthur could relax. It wasn't just about helping Gwaine, now either, or even about saving Merlin from humiliation. Arthur had been ushered into this new experience by merlin- well by Gwaine, really, but acted out by Merlin- and it wouldn't be right to abandon him now that he was opening himself completely like this.

"You're going to turn over," he said in a low voice "and you are going to present your arse to me. I want you to spread your legs good and open so I can see how nice and pink and wet I've gotten you."

Arthur didn't respond with words. He stared and then he closed his eyes and then he obeyed.

Mother-of-God, Merlin liked what he saw. Arthur wasn't just waiting on his hands and knees, he was actively thrusting himself towards Merlin, his body tense with the effort, the scapula sharp on his shoulder as he turned around and growled. His arse was obscenely round and open; his face was even better. Merlin had never seen anything so hot as Arthur's angelic features, flushed and twisted with desperation.

"Come on fuck me already. Make it hurt. I don't fucking care. It can't be worse than 1000 Meter repeats." 

Merlin had never done a thousand meter anything, but he did know something - a lot- about offering yourself before you are ready.

His hand slipped out and slapped that lovely round arse before he knew he'd done it.

"Getting fucked isn't something to be endured, you macho prick. It's for pleasure."

Merlin wrenched those apple arse cheeks apart and gripped hard, with finger nails.

"Is this your way of telling me I didn't eat you out enough, you greedy bastard?" Arthur was just infuriating. Fuck him for being here naked, but really completely inaccessible, and fuck him for wanting to tough it out and ignore the savoring Merlin wanted to give him.

Merlin pushed his face deep into Arthur's arse and sucked until Arthur cried out. He bit gently and then harder - the stupid git had to like teeth, right- oh yes he did. He licked with a hard tongue deep and fast and messy waiting for Arthur to cave.

Arthur sobbed and Merlin crowed out loud, panting through a large grin of triumph. When had he become such a bastard himself? It was something Arthur did to him. He leaned over and whispered past the blond hair into Arthur's hot pink ear.

"Ready now, love?" This time Arthur merely nodded.

Merlin fed him his cock, circling a little and slow, watching his long thin hand hold back the powerful hips in front of him. He took the time to play with Arthur's cock and kiss his shoulders, only gradually letting the leaning over he was doing turn into the pulsing of his own pleasure, rocking and then fucking in earnest.

"Finally!" Arthur bit out even though they both knew he wasn't impatient, was in fact completely overwhelmed.

And that's why they were both laughing right before they came.

Merlin eased out slowly, trying not to wait for Arthur s wince, grimacing sympathetically anyway. He threw the condom into the bin and was amazed to make the shot.

When he turned back to Arthur, he saw that Arthur sat up a little to look at him. Was he going to acknowledge Merlin's care? Admit that he was foolhardy?

"Thanks " was all he said. "You were good. You did a good job. I really liked it". He said it like he was thanking Merlin for a service. It was ... true. Merlin could only nod. Arthur smiled though, a relaxed smile and that felt like something.

"I didn't see a number on that card you gave me." he said, "How do I go about seeing you again? "

Merlin felt squeezed. Arthur wanted to see him again. But he hadn't asked to go outside the paid relationship and that hurt, fiercely. Gah! Merlin was stupid. Of course Arthur didn't know him like he knew Arthur. It still hurt.

"I think the person who hired me wants you to strike out on your own from here." he said with the false calm that he mustered for awkward conversations, "Unless you think you have to pay for it to get any," he added a little meanly, not that Arthur would feel the barb, looking like he did.

Arthur ignored the insult.

"I meant to ask. You said you were a gift. Who sent you? It wasn't Morgana was it?"

"No, not a girl. You'll find out in time."

"Oh, OK," Arthur curled up and leaned into Merlin. Just like that they were spooning, naked on top of the covers. Merlin hardly dared to move at first, not wanting to startle Arthur. When Arthur still hadn't moved after 5 minutes, he relaxed, breathing into his neck. It felt so good. Arthur was more vulnerable like this. Maybe it was a more real response than his words. Maybe he liked the person under the gold contacts. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut so they wouldn't tear.

"I can't stay the night." he warned.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just pretending for a bit, you know like everything's all copacetic"

It sounded like Arthur had some more freaking out to do, after all. Merlin wasn't sure if he could stretch himself to another extension of the plan. Arthur might need to freak out without assistance from his Peeping Tom, Guardian Angel.

Merlin breathed in some more of Arthur's sweaty honeysuckle scent, trying to suck in enough to last him through the time that was surely coming when Arthur would be Gwaine's.

"Everything is OK." he muttered into Arthur's neck, stroking his hair. He knew he was really trying to reassure himself.


	7. Just One More Time

Instead of rushing to meet Gwaine with news of his success, Merlin avoided him the next day. He knew that if he saw Gwen, he would tell her everything and then she would start a campaign to get him to go for Arthur himself, so he avoided her too.

All in all, it was a very quiet day. He couldn't bear to peer down at Arthur. He didn't want to talk to his friends. Merlin found himself feeling lonely. He hadn't realized how much stimulation he'd grown accustomed to, since becoming a stow-away.

'Oh my God, this is why people go out!" he said. A couple of people looked up at that and caught him creeping down the fire escape stair case, which he generally tried to avoid. He just gave a cheery wave. He'd never felt more reckless. Pretending to be a prostitute and fucking your secret crush could do that to you. 

Even though it was getting dark, he hied himself over to the cafe, the popular one, where he always worried he was going to have to fight for a seat with someone more worthy. 

There was a pile of unclaimed books piled on the only available seat when he got there. He just put them on the communal table and popped himself in their place. Honestly, what could the rotten cad who'd left them there do to him that was any more humiliating than his life was already?

He spent a surprisingly agreeable hour drinking hot chocolate and feeling sorry for himself, and leafing through the the trashy paperbacks left by Rotten Cad. The last round he even added a shot of whiskey to the chocolate. Fired up from that, he went and knocked on Gwaine's door.

"Merlin ! The man of the hour! " Gwaine was holding holding his own glass of whiskey which he sloshed all over in his eagerness to hug. "Did it go well?"

He looked so enthused, so completely happy to see him Merlin didn't have the heart to tell him about the knots he'd gotten twisted up in.

"Yeah. One Arthur Pendragon, deflowered."

Gwaine ushered him into a seat and offered him a tumbler of whiskey. He raised an eyebrow when Merlin accepted, but didn't comment.

"I figured you'd succeeded, mate. And not just because he would have been crazy to turn you down."

"Oh?" Merlin didn't say anything more, just settled into the growing buzz in his ears from the alcohol. Gwaine never needed much encouragement anyway.

"Yep, rumor is that Arthur went to the LGTB social today, propositioned somebody and then had a fist fight in the loo."

Merlin's blood went cold. "But why? He seemed fine when I left him, I mean considering, maybe a little freaked out, but quiet, anyhow." Merlin was recalling his improvised words about "striking out on your own." Arthur had tried to find safe harbor with Merlin again and heard those words instead.

Gwaine flopped down next to Merlin and put his cold callused feet on his lap. He dug them into Merlin's thighs a little, his signal for a foot rub, but Merlin ignored him this time.

"Who topped with you two, if you don't mind me asking?" Merlin frowned. He found he did mind but couldn't think of any excuse for it.

"I did, actually."

"I think that was the problem then. I think the guy Arthur went for made some sort of joke about guys who bottom and Arthur got angry and flipped out." He picked up his empty whiskey glass and frowned in it. "Either that or it was the bi thing. I get that all the time, but I attribute it to jealousy mostly. But I can see Arthur getting uptight."

Merlin got to his feet, found it not to be such a great idea and sat back down again. He was such a fucking lightweight. 

"Gwaine, I think maybe we pushed Arthur too hard. I mean is is really worth it for some fuck to mess with his head like this?" His voice caught on the f in fuck. He winced as Gwaine reached out a foot and poked his whiskey glass out of reach.

Gwaine shifted so that Merlin was leaning into him on the couch. He carded his fingers through Merlin's hair, and Merlin forgave him because he knew Gwaine loved him and probably cared more about Arthur than he let on.

"Arthur is a lot more sensitive than he seems. I don't think the double date thing is going to work anymore. That was a sneaking it in on a bender scenario. I think he needs to be with a friend and not just because I want to get laid. It was never really about that, Merlin. You know me."

"Yeah, I do know you." Merlin let that hang in the air with all of its various connotations, swirling around, defining Gwaine. "Why don't we just cancel this party." he added finally.

"Have you met Morgana?"

"I was there, remember?"

"Yeah, well she's got contacts at the university. She as much as told me she knows the flat is illegal and if she wants her damned party, she'll get it. But I want to go ahead with the plan anyway. I think Arthur will get gun shy if he doesn't try again, you know?"

Merlin was starting to get sleepy. He couldn't keep up with Gwaine's twisted logic anymore. He just heard that Gwaine cared about Arthur more than he had admitted before. It hurt but in a kind of clean way, better than when he thought he was a procurer and going to hell.

"So am I done, then?" he asked. Gwaine kissed his brow. "Just one more thing. I'm going to go with him to his place to have a heart to heart. I want you to listen in, if you don't mind, in case he starts to get angry. You know I can't resist a fight and I'm afraid I'll go with the wrong passion if Arthur gets upset."

Merlin didn't like the sound of that. He didn't like the sound of that at all.

"How am I even supposed to hear what you're saying?" he cried out peevishly and it was so irritating that his voice, so dark and sexy for Arthur, sounded like a mewling kitten now. Gwaine reached over and retrieved the whiskey glass. He turned it over and held it over Merlin's ear.

"Put this to the glass and that big ol' ear of yours will pick up everything. It's classic."

Merlin meant to protest, but instead he just fell asleep. It was as good a way to admit defeat as any.


	8. All's Well That Ends Well

A week later found Merlin crouched above his floor window, with his ear to the glass watching Gwaine plop down next to Arthur on what he'd begun to think of as his couch. They sat close together, but not touching.

"The people in this place are ashats." Arthur was complaining.

"Yeah I heard you dealt out a couple blows at the gay social."

"You heard about that?" Arthur scowled. "Is that why you wanted to talk?" His voice was thick with some ugly emotion, "I suppose you won't want to do those double dates anymore. Wouldn't want to get naked next to the poofter, right?"

Gwaine leaned back on the couch, his arm behind Arthur's head. Merlin knew that Gwaine relaxed when he was tense; he had his wires crossed.

"I thought you knew about me," He smiled, eyebrows up. Merlin gave Arthur 5 seconds to relent; he was all too familiar with the power of Gwaine's gambits. Arthur held out longer than Merlin, though and after Arthur didn't respond, Gwaine continued "I'm bisexual, Arthur. I'd love to continue our dates, but I'd be just as interested to have you on your own, frankly."

For a moment, Merlin thought Arthur was going to cry, but he just scowled harder. "There is no such thing as a bisexual man, I've been informed. I'm just in denial, apparently."

So Gwaine had been dead-on with his second guess. 

"That's bollocks, Arthur. Why would you listen to something like that?"

Gwaine reached over and kissed Arthur and Merlin felt nauseous. They looked so beautiful together. He ran to his hamper corner and pulled out some water. He'd had enough. Surely everything was going to go swimmingly without him hovering overhead. 

A sudden crash from below told him otherwise.

Arthur was storming around his room, a paper weight in his hand. The shattered remains of a vase told the story of the crash. 

"The thing is, I think the guy who said I'm just gay is right. I mean it's not that I don't like fucking girls because yeah, I really enjoy that ." He and Gwaine exchanged a high-five that Merlin did not enjoy. "But I've been with a lot of them, more than is healthy, really- No offense."

Gwaine nodded. "None taken, mate."

"And I've never felt about any girl the way I did about the one man I've been with, and he was a fucking prostitute."

Merlin amost dropped his glass. So Arthur had felt something while they were together. It kind of made it worse, actually, watching him with Gwaine, but at least he knew it wasn't his imagination.

"I always knew I was attracted to blokes, but I always thought that even if I acted on it. Arthur swallowed. "Even then, it would just be a fuck and I'd fall in love with a girl. But I know now, it's the exact fucking opposite." Arthur fingered the paper weight, obviously considering throwing it. "I want to find my man, like cinda-fucking-rella! My father's going to love this!" The wave of anger seemed to leave him then and Arthur drooped back onto the couch.

Gwaine traced Arthur's jaw with one finger, leaning into his other hand, eyes heavy lidded. Merlin knew that look. Despite himself, he was interested..

"Tell me some more about this sex worker bloke."

Arthur shook his head. "It doesn't matter. He wouldn't even give me his number."

Gwaine opened his mouth. Merlin could tell he was about to tell Arthur that he had sent Merlin. Part of Merlin wanted that to happen, wanted to hear more about what Arthur had thought of leather Merlin, but that was selfish. The minute Gwaine admitted he'd manipulated Arthur like that, fists were going to fly. He rapped on the glass. As he'd hoped, only Gwaine looked up. Merlin shook his head violently. Gwaine nodded.

He leaned into Arthur's space some more, breathing into his ear. Merlin would be willing to bet anybody else would have gotten thrown out by now, but Gwaine was a snake charmer.

"Wow that must have been one hell of a first time with the prostitute guy. What happened there?"

"Well he was all in leathe, for one thing. He was so confident, Jesus. He took me apart like I was a toy and then put me back together again." Merlin's heart sank. For a moment there he'd thought that maybe Arthur might really like him, but no one had ever described him as confident. 

Arthur was looking at Gwaine, "Are we friends?"

"Yeah, I'd say so."

"But you said you were attracted to me, right?" Merlin tensed. This was it. "So do you think you'd let me suck you off, for practice like?"

Gwaine hesitated. Merlin knew him too well to miss it. He knew the grin that followed it, as well, the 'what the fuck" grin.

"I knew you were easy, but this exceeds expectations."

Arthur gave Gwaine a whack to the shoulder that probably hurt, though Gwaine didn't flinch.

"I just don't want to be bad at it, OK? I've never been bad at sex and I don't want to start now."

Gwaine snorted. "You really are an arrogant prat, you know." Arthur rolled his eyes. " Yeah, I could give you some pointers." Gwaine said. "You know, as a public service." He opened his flies and took his cock out.

Up above, Merlin frowned. What were they playing at? This was not a very sensitive encounter. The time he'd been with Arthur had been much more romantic, really. He took his ear off the window first and then closed his eyes. He remembered how much Arthur had enjoyed mouthing his -Em's- cock only to back off because he was afraid to do a bad job. Gwaine had it wrong, it wasn't just arrogance; it couldn't be fun to be that hard on yourself, all the time. Suddenly, he was curious how Arthur would act, doing this for Gwaine. Was he a terrible person that he almost hoped that Arthur had shown more vulnerability with him? 

Gwaine was naked from the waist down with his shirt unbuttoned to the chest. Anyone else would have looked ridiculous. He looked hot, head back, long hair spread out against the couch, his hand buried in Arthur's blond hair, pushing his head into his groin.

"That's right. Just let yourself gag a little. No one says a blow job has to be neat."

Arthur gave a low cry and then resumed bobbing up and down on Gwaine's cock. Judging from the way Gwaine's instructions dried up and his mouth twisted, Arthur was a natural.

Gwaine grabbed Arthur's hand and arched up to give him access between his legs, eyes closed Merlin didn't miss Arthur's sly grin while Gwaine wasn't looking. He watched Arthur cup Gwaine's balls and then reach a finger back, probably to press on the good spot there. He knew Gwaine liked that. Sure enough he groaned loudly. Then his eyes flew open and he cried out, jerking crudely into Arthur's stretched mouth. A pinky up the arse, Merlin diagnosed. No surprise that Arthur had overreached his first time and now Gwaine was stuffing his face with pulses of come and Arthur was helpless do anything but swallow.

He looked satisfied though, when he popped up, all red faced grimace.

"Wow that tastes awful. I want to do it again as soon as possible." Despite the miserable jealousy in the pit of his stomach, Merlin had to laugh. It was so Arthur.

Gwaine reached up to pull Arthur in. Merlin smiled indulgently. This was probably the truest part of Gwaine's nature. He was a cuddle slut, especially just after he'd come.

"Come here. You've been a good little slut and I think I can reward you with some information you'd really like to hear."

Arthur cocked his head. "Yeah, you know, I'd really like to hear that, but I'm a little too frustrated to pay attention."

Gwaine tucked himself into Arthur space with an easy maneuver. "You didn't think to rub yourself off? S'OK we'll get to that."

"I'd rather we did something about it now!" Arthur was stripping himself now. He seemed different to how Merlin remembered him in bed: fluid, cocksure, efficient. Gwaine's eyes widened a little.

"Hold your horses, Arthur, there are some things you really should know."

"Later."

"About the guy you really like..."

'Later."

Arthur wasn't listening to Gwaine, but Merlin desperately wanted him to go on. Was Gwaine trying to tell Arthur about someone he liked? But Arthur hadn't met anyone but whores and ashats, right?

He leaned further into the window, trying to get as close to the scene below as he could. Arthur was naked, leaning over Gwaine with an angry red erection in his hand, waiting. Gwaine licked his lips, eyeing it. The conversation appeared to have stalled. 

Merlin didn't want to see anymore. Arthur and Gwaine were just going to have to fuck without witnesses. He crawled away and opened his cadbury egg collection. If they were going to get sticky, he was going to get sticky, damnit.

Merlin had never paid much attention to the sounds from Arthur's flat before. He'd been much more keyed to the visuals there and for that matter, Arthur was almost always silent. Who knew that the sounds of two men fucking would do such a good job of simmering up from below? Sitting there, licking his fingers, he could hear them, but he couldn't quite make out the details. It was driving him mad.

Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He crept forward onto the window. Things were coming to a close and Arthur seemed to be shouting something. Was that, "Em?' It couldn't be his leather name Arthur was calling, could it? 

Merlin crawled all the way out to the middle with his ear to the glass which, more tired even than he was of witnessing the nonsense underneath it, dumped him with a crash onto the coffee table below.

Merlin noted for the record that both macho men screamed like girls while he himself gave out only a prolonged ooof. Of course, he'd had the breath knocked out of him.

When he came to, he found both Arthur and Gwaine perched high on the couch back, holding cushions on their privates, though, really, they could have saved the effort. Merlin had seen it all before. Maybe they were worried about the glass. It was everywhere.

Arthur spared one hand to point an accusing finger at Merlin.

"You were spying on me from the roof!" 

Merlin didn't care anymore. If Arthur was going to date Gwaine, he was going to have to get used to this sort of thing, anyway. He told the truth.

"I live in the flat above yours, actually."

. "There is no flat above mine." 

Merlin titled his head, conceding.

"Yes, but I do my spying from there anyhow." Arthur narrowed his eyes. Merlin hated to see him warp his pretty face like that. On the other hand, he seemed to have forgotten about the couch pillow.

"You're that Emrys from organic chemistry, aren't you? And if you're living up there, you must be the reason I think I'm losing my marbles, feeling watched all the time." Arthur paused. Merlin could see the logic boxes ticking. You've been leaving pornography on my computer," he howled in outrage. "It had viruses!"

Arthur started to stalk towards Merlin, saw the glass and thought better of it. He turned to look at Gwaine, who up till now had been occupied with trying to pick shards out of the space that lay between himself and his clothes. "Wait a second. It's your fault. Emrys isn't the kind of guy to do something illegal. You set him up there, and gave him porn to spread around. You sent Em!'

Gwaine spread his arms. "You're welcome, Arthur, anytime!"

Merlin's heart raced as he watched Arthur tighten his fists, "Don't tell me this was another public service. You've been doing all of this to get me to come out, haven't you? But why?"

Gwaine started to open his mouth for the easy shot and Merling glared at him. He wisely let Arthur continue. "I know what it is. There weren't enough bi guys on campus, so you had to use me. We were shagging all those girls and you wanted a foursome, so you had a plan." He pointed to the jagged hole in the ceiling, "To tempt me until I admitted I wanted to fuck you. You committed a half dozen felonies and put me through the sausage press of all identity crises, just for a little fun. I am going to tear that swishy hair out by the roots!"

Merlin said, "I'm sorry, but it worked, right? All's well that ends well!" in a bright voice at the same time that Gwaine said.

"It was for Merlin, dimwit, I wanted you to admit you were bi so you'd date Merlin. I really don't have to go to this much trouble to tap a guy's arse, as nice as yours is, Arthur."

"What?" This time both Arthur and Merlin turned furious faces to Gwaine.

"Well that worked out, didn't it? Arthur waggled a finger to indicate the state he and Gwaine were in, naked on the couch. I'm obviously not shagging you, I'm shagging him." He pointed to the very clothed Merlin.

Gwaine shrugged. "Well, he had you first." Arthur's jaw dropped. He stepped gingerly towards Merlin and caught his face in his hands, turning Merlin's head to see his profile. He measured his hips with his hands.

"It's you." he breathed. "I've looked for you everywhere and all this time, you were just over my head?" Arthur seemed to have forgotten all about his plans to eviscerate Gwaine.

Merlin, however had just had an epiphany, a rolling up through his toes and up through his spine and out his mouth delayed epiphany of anger. He narrowed his eyes at Gwaine.

"You couldn't just introduce us? Maybe you could have given him my number?" Gwaine started eyeing his clothes again, obviously set to flee.

"It wouldn't have worked. You would have graduated and married the Queen before either of you worked up the courage. Trust me."

Arthur met Merlin's eyes. "Merlin, could you be a dear and toss me my jeans and my trainers?"

"Certainly, Arthur," Merlin crunched over the necessary glass and tossed the items.

"Merlin," Gwaine whined. "You know you could never leave me defenseless like this! Arthur really likes you and you like him. I've been bringing you together."

Merlin redoubled his glare. Gwaine had gotten him to fall in love with Arthur and then made him watch while he had the man himself. Even for Gwaine it was a little much. 

"Your methods are a tad indirect, don't you think? Don't imagine I didn't notice the completely gratuitous blow job, oh and the even more gratuitous fucking!"

"I tried to tell him first." Gwaine pointed out, "In all fairness."

"Hmmm, fairness..." Merlin turned back to Arthur, who had developed a rosy predatory glow. He was so sexy, all brutal like this. "It would only be fair to carry him free of the glass, don't you think?"

"Oh yes," Arthur agreed. "And Gwaine has sponsored my arse pounding. It's only fair we give him one."  
It was uncanny how easily they aligned their plans. They really were a good couple. Credit to Gwaine there. With his shoes on, Arthur crunched over to Gwaine and picked him up, fireman style.

"You were just fucking me!" Gwaine objected, kicking his heels. He had very lovely, delicate feet, Merlin noticed.

"Yes, but this time I will be beating you, it's different." He plopped Gwaine down on the threshold. "On your mark, get set, go!"

They chased Gwaine around the quad four times, attracting a fairly good audience, considering that naked quad running was not that unusual an event. However, Gwaine was much better looking than the average uni streaker. Merlin got the distinct impression that he was actively pulling on the final round. He indicated the phone number mouthing to Arthur, who cut the run short, finally herding him into Merlin's flat, where he promptly locked himself in the toilet.

"I feel bad," Merlin said after a while, "This is Gwaine's hamper and we're not letting him have any of the champagne or trifle."

"You're too nice, Merlin," Arthur assured him. "Gwaine needs to learn to mind his business. Have some kippers."

Merlin heard whimpering from the loo, but he steeled himself to ignore it. Arthur was right. He could always bring Gwaine some kippers later, after Arthur had gone downstairs to right the mess in his living room.

Arthur leaned forwards and kissed his head. "You've already forgiven him, haven't you."

Merlin shrugged. "Happens he's probably right. Not the methods," he hastened to add, "Just that we both had to change a little to fit together."

Arthur smiled. "I keep forgetting that you know me already in a way"

"Yeah. I Kind of love you, actually"

Arthur grinned. "It's weird because except for that one time, I don't really know you at all"

Merlin covered his pounding heart with a shrug. "Well, you only know the deepest, most secret parts of me. All the superficial bits are going to take time.

Arthur gave him a long kiss. "I'm looking forward to it."

Gwaine, listening in from downstairs as he hastily pulled something off the rack and knotted it at his waist, paused to smile. It really was absolutely worth scaling a brick wall in nothing but a towel to hear Merlin sound so happy.


	9. Virtue's Reward

Gwaine met Morgana at the spa's sauna. She was naked but it was too hot to be aroused. He yanked off his towel - towels brought back unpleasant memories these days- and sat down close enough to talk while still keeping a respectable distance.

"Ah, Good work may be its own reward, but I have to say I don't mind my little vacation."

"You're welcome." Her smirk was vaguely visible through the steam. "So my brother has admitted who he likes?"

"Yup" Gwaine would have said more if he hadn't been busy melting into a pile of man goo. Morgana, who apparently never melted, even when it could be excused, gave a prim cough.

"And he's dating Merlin? The deal was he had to enter into a committed relationship with a decent human being."

Gwaine wasted one of his placating grins on the invisible and unmeltable presence somewhere in the steam room.

"Yup, those two were made for each other. I knew it the second day of term." Gwaine didn't add that he had been far more concerned with finding the right person for the dearest, loveliest, most self under-rating person he knew. "Arthur needed someone to bring him to earth and Merlin needed someone to get him out of the ground. They're a perfect match."

"And they look stunning together," he added as an after thought, his minds eye wandering to certain possibilities that Merlin and Arthur presented together. Maybe in a few months he might bring it up, maybe. After they'd all forgiven each other. Unfortunately the steam chose this moment to dissipate.

He reached for his towel. Perhaps it wasn't too warm to get aroused, after all. Morgana snorted. The bitch. It really wasn't possible to put anything past her.

"I heard you slept with Arthur yourself." She said, pouring a little more water on the rocks so that he got one enticing look at the swing of large breasts before the steam rose up and covered her.

"Well you know, realism and what not. Merlin had to believe he was doing the match making for me or he would never have agreed to it."

"Yeah, tell me another one." Gwaine didn't bother to deny it. Lying took energy and he was hot.

"Listen," he said at the same time as Morgana said,

"Listen," She giggled then and damned if it wasn't the cutest, most surprising thing he'd ever heard.

"You go first," he offered, like the gentlemen he often was, the role he most enjoyed, actually.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go to dinner. I'm not going to have that cow, Sophia, as an in-law now and I'd like to find out the details of how you pulled off the miracle."

Gwaine contemplated the evening. If it hadn't been for the giggle, he might have been afraid to go, but now he simply had to find out how to make her do that again.

"I'd like to call it a date, if you don't mind," he said,

Sneaking silently through the obscuring steam, Morgana kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I stole the cadbury eggs. Thanks, they were really yummy!


End file.
